


The Rose of Battle

by Jensaarai (Doomkitty25)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo Pain Train, Cannon Divergence, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Fix It Fic, Leia deserved better, Luke Skywalker deserves a spanking, M/M, Mutual Pining, Patching Each Other Up, Protective Ben, Protective Rey, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey is a badass, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Soulmates, family trauma, hurt comfort, like all over the place, the light is not all there is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25150375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doomkitty25/pseuds/Jensaarai
Summary: “We have to save them, all of this killing is senseless and stupid. Put a stop to it now Ben.” He continued to ignore her as he marched to his rooms, a large part of him not wanting to listen, and an even larger part knowing that whatever decision he made was going to set his course. Not quite ready for what that meant, he decided instead to focus on fixing her. When the force had awakened within her, when it had connected the two of them, he’d known nothing would ever be the same. It was another thing altogether to have his mind completely empty of any influence, and the decision to be in his own hands. It had never been before, he just needed a little time.***Kylo kills Snoke, but never gets the chance to ask Rey to join him, instead she's wounded and their journey shifts course.
Relationships: Finn & Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 16
Kudos: 34





	1. Prologue

#  Prologue

__ They have gone down under the same white stars,  
We shall no longer hear the little cry  
Of our sad hearts, that may not live nor die.

_ W.B. Yeats _

##  ***

Ben fell to his knees. It was happening again. He’d broken the rules. Tentatively, he let his fingers brush the soft fur of the dog his father had finally convinced his mother that he needed. Still and silent, the puppy wasn’t moving. Light had exploded within him when his father had placed the little thing in his arms, tears had streamed down his cheeks in disbelief and Joy unlike anything he’d ever known, had made him sob. His father was grinning above him, his mother had been huffing and nattering on about responsibility, but clearly she was pleased because she wouldn’t stop patting the little thing on the head. 

Dark brown sable fur, big brown eyes, and pure love had looked up at Ben. A tear fell from his eye onto the quiet form beside him. He’d been too late. The darkness had over taken him, as it did during his nightmares, and he’d passed out before he could warn C3P0. His plan had been working for months. He’d order the droid to make sure the puppy was watched at all times and safely tucked away for the night, but he’d fallen asleep in the drawing room before speaking with C3P0.

Both of his parents were off world, they had been for two weeks. It was only him, the droid, and the puppy in the house, and Ben had been very carefully trying to navigate the other presence in his mind. He’d had nightmares for years, but it was only after his 8th birthday that he’d started blacking out and waking up in strange places. The dead animals had started last year. The first time he’d woken with blood on his hands, he’d screamed for hours. C3P0 hadn’t known what to do, and had finally sedated Ben and tucked him into his bed. His mother had called that evening. Ben hadn’t known what to say, he didn’t want to tell her because he didn’t want to get in trouble, but at the same time he was scared that he couldn’t remember things.

He rubbed his hands across his face. The puppy had been a present for his 10th birthday, and all Ben could feel now was black despair and a sick shaky feeling that he was being punished. Nothing he loved stayed with him. It wasn’t allowed. He was forbidden from loving anything because it would eventually be taken from him. The darkness didn’t allow his happiness for very long. He’d get a brief taste of it, and then it would be snatched away. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. 

Ben slapped the floor beside him and felt heat rise inside of him, a wave of anger exploded out of him and he rolled over onto his hands and knees and screamed. Slamming his fists against the floor, pounding his anger into something solid, he screamed in furious rage and let the fire of his anger ravage his body.

That was how C3P0 found him.

##  ***

Kylo Ren fastened his robe and took a deep breath before slipping his mask over his head. Meticulous observation of his surroundings had saved him on more than one occasion, and a disturbance in the force was more than enough to have his master summon him. Making sure he was ready before that happened would circumvent the relentless need for Snoke to berate him for an hour before he got to the point. Any mention that he’d felt it before Snoke would have him degraded at his master’s feet, it was better to be ready. His gloves were last, he tugged them on as he walked out of his rooms. Halfway to the observation deck his instincts were confirmed when Snoke’s voice echoed in his mind. Kylo didn’t smirk, he was far too controlled for that, but he briefly considered it. Predictable was his master….odd, he hadn’t considered a single act of defiance in years. Snoke had beat it out of him.

Kylo stopped his march towards his master and tilted his head. The force rippled, like a pebble skipping across a pond, raising the hair on his arms and furrowing his brow. He hadn’t felt something like this in years, not since he was a child, it was almost as if a bubble that surrounded him had been popped. He shivered at the ongoing sensations that this disturbance was eliciting from him. It had been years since he pondered his childhood, there was no need, Snoke’s philosophy did not welcome thoughts of past actions. 

His mother had taken him to Naboo, in his first off-world excursion to the planet of her mother’s people, he’d been 5 at most. He’d thought the garden’s pretty and the palace extravagant, but he’d felt something calling to him all day. Easily escaping his droid nannies, he’d walked along the palace balconies and looked out over the vast expanse of water. The sunshine had glittered across the water mesmerizing him, and then the force had wrapped around him and rippled across his little body. It was merely an echo of what he felt now, but at five years old it had been a little terrifying. Why that place and that time he’d not understood, still didn’t if he was honest, but it was the same sort of feeling. Cool water shivering and rippling, light glistening on the waves and Kylo knew that whatever this meeting with his master had in store, it was about to change the course of his life. Not unlike his awakening on Naboo.

The force would accept nothing less. 


	2. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The course changes

_ The Last Jedi, Directly after Kylo kills Snoke _

Kylo watched her face carefully as he stepped toward her urging her to let the past die, to let it all go. “Rey,” He lifted his hand. Before the next words could escape, she stumbled to the ground. Kylo’s eyes went wide and he gasped as she fell. “Rey!” he shouted, rushing forward to catch her. Blood was seeping through her robes at her stomach. 

“One of them got me I just didn’t realize.” Kylo placed his hands on her stomach to staunch the blood but it was no use. She needed a medical droid. Without asking and with no hesitation he picked her up in his arms. “Ben put me down.”

He ignored her soft command. Used the force to pull both of their weapons to him and shifted her so that her wound wasn’t under as much pressure.

“We have to save them, all of this killing is senseless and stupid. Put a stop to it now Ben.” He continued to ignore her as he marched to his rooms, a large part of him not wanting to listen, and an even larger part knowing that whatever decision he made was going to set his course. Not quite ready for what that meant, he decided instead to focus on fixing her. When the force had awakened within her, when it had connected the two of them, he’d known nothing would ever be the same. It was another thing altogether to have his mind completely empty of any influence, and the decision to be in his own hands. It had never been before, he just needed a little time.

Rey slipped her arm around his shoulder and slid her fingers through his hair gripping it tightly. “Ben”. she all but commanded his attention. He sighed.

“I need to think, you need to get patched up, you’re losing too much blood.” Growling his response he slammed a hand on the door to his rooms on this stupid ship. Placing her on the desk against the wall he snapped, “Ace. Stop the bleeding.” A droid, nothing like the first order droids hanging about, came out of the closet of Kylo’s room. He was black and silver, but Kylo had built him from the ground up. Entirely modified to his specifications, it was small, about the size of an R2 unit but that’s where the similarities ended. Kylo had made sure it could morph its shape easily because the last thing he needed was an enemy finding his personal droid and stripping it for information. Beeping annoyingly the droid began pulling medical supplies from it’s storage containers. Rey was listing from side to side. Her whole right side was covered in blood, like it wasn’t slowing and Kylo could feel her dizziness. 

“Ben please, stop it.” Kylo stared down into her pleading face and felt his world shift. A part of him wanted more than anything to do as she asked, the sensible part of him knew that what she asked had consequences. Those consequences needed to be evaluated, he needed to think. He needed a minute. Never in his life had he been so consumed with the desire to throw caution to the wind and just wing it. He always had a plan. It was because of her. How was she doing this? Why was she doing this? Her eyes slid closed and Kylo cursed. Damnit. “Ace, vitals.”

“Master she has lost a significant amount of blood and will need a transfer to remain viable. I have slowed the bleeding and it will stop altogether in a matter of moments. Her blood pressure is not stable.” Kylo cursed through his teeth and lifted her from the desk to move her to his bed. Kneeling beside the bed he motioned for the droid to come over and make her comfortable. A blood transfusion would be easy enough, he’d call for the supplies now.

Grabbing the datapad by his bed he put in the order, and looked at her sallow face. He had to get her off of this ship. Snoke was dead but that didn’t mean the first order would welcome rebels in their midst. His impulse to ask her to join him earlier had been cut off by her injury, and now he was almost thankful she hadn’t had the chance to reject him. He ran a hand across his face and reached out with the force. Needing to know how many idiots in the rebel force he needed to worry about. A pulsing light was the first thing he saw, and he gripped the blankets on his bed.

His mother. She was out there still. Fuck. Kylo put his head down on the edge of the bed. He'd avoided having to make a decision while he was in his ship, he'd avoided sliding further into something he couldn't come back from. Eliminating that gentle pulse had been completely beyond his ability. Fury had ignited within him when the First Order ships had fired on his mother. Fury and fear and pain and he couldn't even name it all.

He was close, it was dragging him down into the crevices of his mind, this decision. If he did what Rey asked there would be no going back. “Rey.” he groaned, thinking harshly that she expected too much of him, they had all expected too much of him. Rey’s force signature was at rest, at peace, but it was nothing like his mother’s gentle pulsing light. Rey was a pure beacon of light, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was terrified of where she might lead him.

##  ****

Finn grabbed Rose’s arm and pulled her to an abrupt stop. Pointing frantically down the nearest hallway from them. “That’s Kylo Ren and he’s got Rey. We have to help her!” He exclaimed as he started to follow the tall hulking man carting his best friend away.

“Finn what about getting back to the resistance?” She said frantically.

Finn groaned. Damnit they needed to get to the transports and every delay was one more opportunity for them to get caught, but he had to save Rey. “We have to help her Rose.” 

Rose scrunched her little nose up. “Okay, okay, lets go get her. How do we get rid of Kylo Ren?”

Finn looked at BB-8 and took a deep breath, “we break into that room he took Rey into and knock him over the head. He has no idea we’re here, we can take him by surprise. BB-8, Stay here, when we come out we're going to need all the help we can get."

##  **

The beeping outside his door alerted him to the arrival of the supplies, but he didn’t turn to acknowledge, knowing Ace would see to it. Which is why the two rebels tumbling into his room took him just a little bit off guard. The traitor and a little dark haired thing stood in his doorway with looks of astonishment on their faces. Didn’t last long though. The traitor jerked his weapon up and shouted, “What are you doing to her, get away from Rey right now!!!” 

Kylo rolled his eyes and force pushed the both of them into the room against the wall. “ETA on supplies Ace?” he asked his droid. 

“2 minutes master.” Kylo nodded and looked over the rebels. They were dressed like officers, he sighed. Inching closer to his decision, he pulled restraints from his closet and snapped them around the pair of them and took their weapons away, crushing them under his boot.

“What are you going to do with us?” The little girl said. He almost rolled his eyes, but instead directed a condemning frown toward the traitor.

“Ben” came a croaky voice from his bed and he rushed back over to her. She looked up at him with a raised brow, “Are you tying up my friends?”

His own brow raised, she smirked, and he rolled his eyes in response. “You were not conscious, they were loud and armed, I’m being completely reasonable.” She tried to sit up, the traitor was shouting her name in the background, but Kylo was too worried to pay him any mind. Losing as much blood as she had was making her unstable. He knelt down by the bed pushing her back into the pillows. “Rey.” He said warningly. She groaned. The traitor was kicking the wall and struggling against his restraints, shouting about not touching her. Kylo wanted to scoff, she was clearly hurt, the idiot should pull his head out of his ass.

Beeping at his door made him look over. “Ace?”

“Yes master, it is the supplies you requested.” He waved his hand to open the door, a first order droid came through and delivered the supplies to Ace. Kylo waved his hand and closed the door, then stood and pulled the memory bank from the back of the med droid. Ripping it out with no finesse, wires and parts hanging from his hands. 

“Ben what the hell?” Rey said, still not overtly looking at the traitor or his companion.

Kylo shrugged, “Hux would know within minutes if I let this droid leave the room intact. Ace, start the transfusion.” Rey had pulled her legs over the side of the bed and turned to face the traitor and the girl. Kylo jerked his attention to the viewport in his room as she soothed her friends, her voice was soothing so she'd get them sorted out but...there was...Something.

“Ben!” Rey shouted in alarm, but he barely had time to make it to her side before he collapsed to his knees. 

“Rey, we killed him? Tell me we killed him?” He said desperately looking at her face. Darkness overwhelmed him and began tearing at the shields around his mind. He gripped the side of the bed trying to ground himself, but it was no use, he’d been here before. Drowning. Suffocating. Darkness was ripping through him, not just the force but someone or something was tearing him apart. He’d wake up, and she would be dead. That was how it worked. He slammed his fists against the floor.

“Ben,” she said softly as she placed her hands on his face.”You cut him in half, you cut him in half and he’s dead.” Her fingers were cool and soothing as they stroked his face, the sensations grounding him but ultimately they were useless. Never in his life had he been able to successfully escape drowning in the abyss. “What’s wrong, talk to me.” Ben shook his head and pushed against the floor harder, he violently shoved her away from him knowing it wouldn’t help, this had happened before. Power so suffocating he couldn’t breathe.

“Something...something is trying to get in. I can’t stop it.” He said not knowing if words were even coming from his mouth. Heat was beginning to overwhelm him, he could hear the rebels asking her what was going on, and his droid beeping with worry, but he couldn’t focus on anything but the darkness. Staring into Rey’s eyes, he lost the battle, and the darkness pulled him completely under. 

##  **

Rey was frantic. She was so close to saving Ben, so close, but something had come for him. No damnit. She’d worked too hard, fought too hard for this to be the end of it. Jumping up from the bed she turned to his droid, steadying herself with a hand on the bed. “Make sure no one gets into this room, and set the transfusion up please.” A little bit shocked by the command in her voice she paused looking over at her friends.

“Yes Lady Rey.” Startled out of her perusal of Finn and Rose she swung back to the droid.

“It’s just Rey.”

The droid chirped at her. “I could never disrespect you in such a way, it would disappoint my master.” Rey hummed while looking around for the key to the restraints. 

Finn was yelling. Rey shushed him. “How long have you been with Ben?”

“I am not permitted to say.” The droid chirped.

“Do you know who I am?” She asked curiously. Finn was still shouting at her in the background, asking her what the hell she was doing, and that they needed to get off this damn ship immediately. Rey was ignoring him. Something was niggling at her.

“Of course, Lady Rey.”

“And if I asked you to unlock my friends restraints would you do so?” The droid beeped a few times. 

“Yes Lady Rey.” That made Rey sigh. Good lord Ben. He had to know she would have never joined the First Order. This was too much even if it did serve her purposes now. 

“Ace, please release my friends.” Following the droid over to Finn she crouched down and held her hand up.

“I need you to promise me something Finn.”

“Rey what the hell is going on, and why are you calling him Ben?”

“Are you okay?” Came Rose’s quiet query. She’d been mostly quiet up to that point but the concern was clearly written across her cherub like face. Rey took an immediate liking to her. Finn had just introduced them minutes before, but she felt like a strong steady grounding influence. Like the earth in spring. She could immediately see why Finn had befriended her.

“It’s a long story, and I don’t have time to go into it. But I need you two to protect us.” Looking at both of them firmly, a wave of dizziness made her wobble in front of them. Rose reached out to her and she smiled her thanks.

Finn frowned and his brows dipped dangerously low, anger rolled off of him. “He’s Kylo Ren, I’m not protecting him.”

She understood his anger, but she also understood the need for balance. “I need you to protect me. Something just pulled him under. Something powerful, and the only thing that I knew of more powerful than Ben was Snoke. Ben killed Snoke. So I’m asking you to watch my back while I figure out what’s going on. Can you do that please?” Rose’s eyes went comically round, and she nodded without hesitation.

“Of course we’ll watch your back. We don’t have a lot of time though. The resistance is fighting the first order, but they’re losing.” 

Rey winced.Finn struggled. She could see the light and the dark inside of him at war, but he relented. “I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.” She breathed a huge sigh of relief. Ace had removed the restraints and she smiled at Rose as she knelt beside Ben. 

“I’m going to meditate and see if I can pull him out of this, do not touch either one of us no matter what we say or do. Ace will see to the blood I need, and hopefully I’ll be sorted by the time we get out. Ben will make sure nothing happens to me inside, I just need you guys to watch the door.” She took note of Finn’s bewildered face, but she didn’t have time to explain it to him. Sitting by Ben’s prone form, crossing her legs and placing her hand on his forehead, she demanded entrance. Ben fought her but she was persistent. A part of her regretted it the minute she was submerged in the darkness with him.

She’d felt darkness, from Ben, from Snoke, from the cave on Anch-To, from various and sundry people since the force had awakened inside of her. This was on a level she’d never been exposed to, it dripped down her skin like slime, it filled up her lungs and made it difficult to breathe, it wrapped her in pain that she could barely think beyond. It sent a cold chill of relief through her when Ben’s face appeared, as angry as he was, she reached out without hesitation and grabbed his hand.

His hand gripped hers, “Rey get the hell out of my head.” He commanded her, but she looked over his shoulder at the creature rising from a pile of ashes. Pulling Ben closer to her she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and planted her feet. The no was clear in every line of her body. Ben was a stubborn ass, but she could out stubborn him any day of the week. “Fine, stay behind me.”

“What is it, who is it?”

Ben shook his head at her. The black amorphous blob began to take shape fully manifesting into that of a man in a robe. Dark shadows wafted off of him covering the ground and obscuring the landscape. He was looking directly at them. A pale hand raised itself from the robes, and a chilling voice echoed in both of their minds. “Apprentice, kneel before me.”

And like that they both looked at one another knowing they were standing in the presence of the former emperor. The most powerful Sith to have ever lived was beckoning them forward. But no. He was beckoning Ben forward, and Rey was having none of it. Snoke was gone and she’d be damned if she’d let another psychotic, power hungry, mad man sink their claws into him. Ben still held her hand, but had pushed her as far behind him as she would allow. “What is it you’re trying to hide from me Apprentice? You will not succeed, better to just show me now.” 

The voice sent chills down Rey’s spine, but it also let her know unequivocally that he couldn’t see her. That meant Ben had some measure of control over what was going on here. Even if it was small. A glimmer of an idea formed in her mind and she dug her nails into Ben’s hand. He held her tighter, but made no other move toward either the Sith before them or away from her. 

Using their height difference to her advantage, she slipped under his arm until she was facing him. Looking up into his troubled face she felt the command that she’d slipped into earlier well up inside of her. “We’re leaving.” The demand was met with a hard stare, but Rey didn’t waver in her conviction. “Now.” She commanded. Closing her eyes she severed Ben’s connection to the darkness in front of him. It was just like swinging a saber. One precise cut and they were both adrift. She had no idea how she knew it was possible, but the tether working its way toward Ben was clear as day to her, cutting it in half was instinct. Ben letting her was something even more interesting.

Having zero idea how long their meditation had lasted, she looked around to get her bearings. Finn was sitting against the door and Rose was trying to get information out of Ace. Failing, but trying. Wasn’t that just the story of all of their lives.

Ben rolled to his feet beside her, reached out a hand and pulled her to her feet. With a deep breath and a sigh, she heard him mutter “okay god damn it.” He jerked his gloves off and threw them on the bed, then started to peel off his outer layer of robes. 

“What the hell are you doing man?” Finn queried as he stood up from the floor moving closer to Rose. 

“Ace, damage report.” Ben commanded as he jerked off his boots. 

“Why is he stripping? Rey! Rey!! tell him to put his clothes back on.” Finn was frantically motioning toward her, but Rey was still in a little bit of a stupor. She’d just seen a living vision of the former Sith Emperor. He was supposed to be dead. He was supposed to be….gone. 

“Master the rebels have retreated to transport shuttles. The main force no longer occupies their vessel. General Hux has given the command to eliminate them.” Ben nodded and it was like a bucket of cold water was dropped on her head. 

“Ben.” She said frantically. 

He ran his hands through his thick black hair. Standing before her he wore only a loose cotton tunic, black pants, and a scowl. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Snoke has a shuttle, the two over there can take it. I’ll grab the silencer. The main fleet will be easy enough to disable, but you’re going to have to come with me.” He stepped around the droid at his feet and pulled a pair of soft brown boots from a closet, and a brown jacket. “The rebel base below isn’t going to cut it. How far out is Chewie?”

Rey spread her consciousness out, “Not far.” Ben nodded.

“Hey what the hell are you two planning, and what…” Finn shook his head, bewildered by the turn of events. 

“Rey and I can take out this ship, but your idiot team of rebels will still get themselves killed if they don’t have a place to go. Snoke’s transport can fit some, not sure of the capacity.”

“20 people master.” Ace chirped.

“Okay, the falcon can handle a pretty large group, so that should get you…

“Just a damn minute. You’re not coming with us, and why the hell are you changing clothes.” Finn’s tone brokered no argument. Rose raised her hand to put it on his shoulder.

“Finn. He killed Snoke. Rey said he did. He doesn’t have anywhere else to go, and he has more information on the first order than any other person alive. He can help us.” She said it reasonably, but there was also a plea. Finn backed down, but he was clearly pissed. Rey wanted to comfort him, but it really wasn’t the time. She left it up to Rose, her steady influence balancing out Finn’s emotional spikes.

Ben shrugged on the brown leather jacket and stepped into the boots easily. Force pulling both of their weapons, he tossed Rey’s to her. “My appearance is notable and memorable, I can direct most of the electronics to ignore me. I need to make it as hard as possible for Hux to track me. And don’t worry, trai…..rebel, I’m not coming with you. There’s something I have to take care of. I’ll drop Rey off as soon as we take out Hux.” Rey held her tongue. She’d argue with him later because like hell he was dropping her off anywhere.

With that Ben went to the door, motioned Ace in front of him. “Rey you take the left side and I’ll take the right. Force command them to the cafeteria. Almost everyone on this ship missed breakfast and lunch, they’re all hungry so the suggestion will stick with very little effort.” 

Rose looked at them with confusion. “Why redirect them if you’re just going to kill them?”

Ben stopped in his tracks, “the first order will call a retreat after evaluating the threat to both their personnel and their aircraft. If the threat level is higher than acceptable losses allow, we just need to make sure we can deliver on that threat.” Ben motioned once again for them to follow and stomped his way down the hall. 

Rey nodded her assent and followed the group out of the door. Ben was monitoring her with the force, she swatted him away and rubbed her arm where the blood transfusion had happened. However long they’d been out, Ace had managed to get her taken care of. She still felt a little shaky, but overall it was better than after their fight. She could take care of herself, she didn’t need Ben’s poking and prodding. 

Not all that surprised, Ben was correct, sending the people on the ship to the cafeteria was barely straining her, and more than likely not even causing him to blink. Following behind them and trusting Ben to get them off of the ship, she took a minute to observe him. The leather jacket and boots reminded her of Han, and didn’t that just hurt. He'd never answered her not really. He just said to let the past die, but that didn't tell her why he'd killed his father. Or even more importantly, why exactly did he have the clothes on hand? Was he already planning to leave? It was clearly meant to be a disguise of some kind. Darkness still surrounded him, anger and fear pulsed inside of him; but, if his presence with them was any indication he was farther back in the light than he’d ever been. He had no intention of harming anyone on this vessel. Well save for Hux, she couldn’t guarantee Hux would make it out alive if he got in Ben’s way. 

Looking over their ragtag little group, Rey felt the force settle around her in a way that it hadn’t before. It hummed with something like happiness or contentment. If this was how it felt with Ben only slightly right of center, she couldn't imagine how it was going to feel when he stepped fully back into the light. Anticipation and Hope made her grin and lightened her steps as she followed closely behind.


	3. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our heroes make some plans.

They rounded the corner only to be stopped by a droid that brought a very irritated scowl to Kylo's face. That little menace had started this whole mess. “BB” he heard Rey exclaim delightedly. Maybe one day she’d be that excited to see him when he came back...Kylo ripped that thought right out of his head. Now was not the time. “When we get to the transport area, you’re going to have to disable the tracking monitor on the ship. Do you know how?”

“On it.” Rose said forthrightly. Kylo was a little disturbed by how much he liked the girl. In general he liked no one, but something about this one’s calm approach to the world around her had him leaning toward her. It was disconcerting. Being drawn to Rey made sense, the Force willed it and so it was what it was, but the bizarre almost gentle feeling he felt in the presence of the tiny one made him question his sanity. Or if any of this was even real.

“I’m sending Ace with you. He should be able to help as needed.” His droid did not like that. With a sigh he crouched down as the thing huffed at him. He’d been meaning for years to have his personality chip evaluated, he’d just never gotten around to it. “Ace, Rey is coming with me and there’s no room on the ship. Go with Rose. She’ll make sure nothing happens to you.” He sent a steely look at the resistance member and she nodded very seriously. 

“Why is it our responsibility to protect your stupid droid.” Kylo didn’t even bother to look up, every member of the group including the BB unit turned to Finn with looks of consternation. “Fine, Whatever!” He said and crossed his arms. 

Kylo resisted the urge to smirk. Rising back to his full height he led the group into the hangar and pointed them to Snoke’s transport. It was very well outfitted and Ace could help them navigate any trouble they might run into. The girl looked capable, even if she wasn’t a trained pilot. A glimmer of an idea began to form in his mind. “Rey, how are you feeling?”

“I am not an invalid, I’m fine.” She snapped at him. 

He furrowed his brow in annoyance. “Could you reach the flight deck above and influence anyone that might be there? You should be able to see them through the glass partitions.” He did his own snapping, clenching his ungloved fists at his side.

She looked surprised. “Yeah, I mean probably.”

“Can you or can’t you?” He growled.

“Yes I can.” She growled back at him with her hands on her hips. He noticed the others backing subtly away from them. Interesting, they were only glowering at one another but the force was charged around the both of them. Were her companions Force sensitives? It had been so long since he'd even reached out for another person that he was a little surprised he couldn't tell. Rey was obvious, she was like getting hit by a Wampa, but the two beside him were getting washed out by both Kylo and Rey. He'd have another look later. 

Rolling his shoulders, he looked above them then back at Rey for confirmation. “There are loyalists here, but your traitor is evidence that first order training isn’t foolproof. Are any of the pilots up there sympathizers?”

Rey’s look of excitement was a little too much for him so he turned to his own task. Her little hand grabbed his jacket. “What are you doing?’

“Getting us a pilot.” He shrugged her off and slid around the side of the ship. They’d made themselves entirely inconspicuous with suggestions to everyone in the immediate area. If Rey could find a pilot, all he would need to do is make sure he wasn’t intercepted on his way down. Rey’s abilities would take care of the rest. He cleared the hallways and the walkways above them of droids and personnel. It was a little bit more taxing to decode all of the doors between them and the upper flight decks, but he used a couple of listless droids to assist. “Have you found anyone yet?”

“Yeah, I’ve got one.” She said over her shoulder.

He nodded. “Bring him down.”

She scrunched up her brow at him. “How?”

He raised a brow at her. “Center yourself, show him your light, and feed him all of that goodness and light garbage my uncle tried to shove down everyone’s throats. I’m sure he’ll be here in no time ready to dance to whatever tune you’re playing. Traitors are like that.”

She glared, “What does that make you then?” She snapped, then swung away from him and sat on the floor in a meditative pose. He glowered. That was the question wasn’t it. What did that make him? He’d never had a fucking clue. Glancing up above him, he watched a young kid trotting towards them, eager to please and ready to serve. Kylo snorted, but let Rey guide the kid into the transport ship with Finn and Rose, hanging back so his own force signature didn’t interfere with what she was doing. Finally finished she stomped toward him, still clearly pissed about his remarks, and brushed right passed him towards his ship.

***

“Ben, your tiny little ship is never going to be able to take down that stupid battle destroyer.” Rey yelled at him from her perch on the floor. They'd made it off of the Supremacy easily enough, almost too easily, but the last thing Hux would suspect is Kylo Ren walking away from the order.

He rolled his eyes, “Really Sweetheart have a little faith, isn’t that what you Jedi are all about.” Absentmindedly flicking the controls on his ship he went through the flight check, completely missing the look of bewilderment that Rey shot towards him. He hadn't even registered the endearment, too focused on his plan and his ship. He breathed out a sigh of contentment. His ship at least powered up when he turned the damn thing on, unlike the bucket of bolts his father had flown around. Gripping his controls he pushed the pain of that thought roughly out of his mind, switching instead to what he needed to do. Snoke’s ship was well on its way to the under side of the Raddus now. Hidden from the first order’s sensors and available to move in on the resistance battleship the minute he signaled. 

He knew what they were doing, could feel Amilyn's intent as bright as a star on the old war ship, but he didn’t see the need for Amilyn to lose her life. His mother had lost enough, and he might not be able to give his father back to her, but he could return her best friend to her in fighting shape. Was that enough, did he even care, were thoughts he'd save for after all of this was done and Rey wasn't pulsing distractedly beside him. 

Steeling himself against the admiral's reaction, he opened a line of communication. “Amilyn” 

“Kylo.” She said in her commanding unhesitating way, and he let his nerves shake through him. He’d not spoken to her in 16 years, but she’d immediately known it was him. Funny how that affected him in ways he would have never guessed. 

Command, she would respect sure footed command. “I need you to get off the ship.”

“Not going to happen.” Sheer grit laced her words and Kylo bit his lip.

“I understand what you’re trying to do.” Silence. She wasn’t going to say anything more. He needed her off the damn ship.“I will carry out your plan if you get off the ship.”

“What makes you think I would ever trust you, after everything you’ve done Kylo Ren.” Amilyn’s words were sharp, direct, and to the point. Never one to mince words, and never one to shy away from topics others deemed too difficult to discuss. More than likely why she and his mother were so close.

She was one of the few people in the galaxy who knew exactly who he was. She was his mother’s confidant, best friend, and the closest thing she’d ever had to a sister. Ben had grown up calling her Aunt Ami. He had severed ties with a lot of people when he’d joined the first order. Anger had subverted more than a few of those relationships in such a way that he hadn’t lost sleep over them. But Ami was different. She had been so, he sighed. “Aunt Ami, I am not going to let the first order kill my mother. There’s a transport just within reach of you, two resistance members are on board. Evacuate the damn ship so I can force push it into Hux and his stupid smug face.” Silence echoed in the ship and he felt more than he saw Rey’s astonishment. The generous chuckle echoing in his ship triggered a sigh of relief.

“Welcome back Benjamin, it took you long enough.” He huffed over the mic, but signaled Rose to begin the pick up. He didn’t know if he was back so much as he was no longer with the First Order, but he’d accept her words as long as it got her off the ship.

**

With Amilyn out of the way and the resistance battleship in position, Ben turned the cloaking device in his own ship on high, setting it adrift he looked down at Rey. “It’s time.”

“Time for what you kriffing idiot. You think we’re somehow going to force push a damn battleship, you’re out of your mind. I mean I knew you had to be a little bit crazy, I have been in your head but, Ben there is…”

“Rey shut up and get up here.” Exasperation with her making him lose his cool just the slightest. She was about to shift into his lap, and he was having a hard enough time as it was ignoring her. The force had been pushing him directly in her path for long enough that it was blatantly obvious that it wanted something from the both of them, what that something was, remained to be seen. However, his body was starting to get ideas about her and he had neither the time nor the energy to deal with that on top of everything else. 

“Up where?” Confusion made her brow wrinkle, and Kylo’s mouth watered. God damnit.

He leaned back further in his chair and groaned. “Can you apply the force to objects that you can’t see?”

More wrinkled brow, “no not very well.”

“Okay so if we’re going to push the ship, you need to be able to see it.”

Her face went solid red and a blush lit her on fire. Furious whisper shouting ensued, “I cannot sit in your lap, there is no way I’m going to do...THAT.”

Kylo ran a hand across his face. “I’m not about to make you, so try it from the floor, but if we don’t get that ship closer to the bridge of the Supremacy, they’re not going to retreat and the Resistance is finished.”

“Why can’t you just get in the floor?” Kylo scoffed at her and let his face rest in a look that told her she was stupid. “Fine.” Lifting herself up carefully from the floor of his ship, she slid her body onto his lap so she could see out of his view port. He’d already disengaged his ship and was currently staring at the Raddus. Her little body didn’t take up much room, daintily perched as she was on his knees, he couldn’t help the smile at her nerves, more than a little intrigued that he wasn’t the only one affected by their close proximity. It became readily apparent that her proper posture wasn’t going to cut it, so she settled herself back against his chest with a delicate sigh.

“For this to work you’re going to have to open the bond back up.” Feeling her nod against him he clenched every bit of his body against the sensations she elicited. Heat unfurled inside him and he was more than a little shocked by his desire to wrap himself around Rey and hold a middle finger up to all of this shit. Getting his thoughts in order before the bond opened their minds up to one another, he did his best to prepare. 

It was still a shock. Having her in his mind was nothing like Snoke or the Emperor. She was a force to be reckoned with, but she never tried to drown him, to cover him, or smother him. Just carefully existing right beside him.

“What do I do?” She asked gently, and Kylo pushed images to her of what they needed to do.

“It will probably make you sick, pull back before you actually throw up please.” 

Another nod from her and they were manipulating the electronics on the ship, pushing it forward guiding it toward the Supremacy. By this point Hux was aware that Snoke was dead. The whole galaxy would be noticed in mere hours, Kylo could feel his frantic energy on board the ship. He also realized the minute they noticed the Raddus heading for them. Leadership on board wasted no time in sounding the retreat. Kylo smirked. Rey was doing a damn good job, but he could feel the queasiness begin to overcome her. “Pull back Rey.”

Letting out a breath of relief she slowly melted back into him, letting the force dissipate back into the galaxy.

“That worked, kriffing hell Ben, that worked!” Before her elation could turn into bouncing on his lap, Kylo anchored his arm around her waist. It was either that or shove her into the floor, which he knew she’d appreciate a whole hell of a lot less. It took her a minute to catch on, but the minute she did her whole body went stiff. It wasn’t as if he could hide the fact that he enjoyed her body in his lap. She said nothing but she made no move to get off of his lap either.

Quietly so as not to stir the tension that had settled around them, he said evenly “Let’s get you back to the resistance.” Quickly maneuvering his ship, he winced as the Raddus exploded in their rear sensors. What a waste of a perfectly good vessel. He'd decided the self destruct should be left intact, there was no need to have the resistances intel in Hux's hands or worse Pryde's, better to let the thing implode. The Supremacy had retreated, putting enough space between the first order and the resistance that they'd be safe for awhile. Chaos would surely take hold with the death of Snoke. 

Well out of range of the first order, they’d decided to land their vessels on a nearby planet that Kylo had never heard of. Hovering in atmo he did a few scans before starting his descent. 

“Rose.”

“Here, present, I mean what did you need.” Kylo fought the urge to smile. 

“ETA 3 minutes. Will you have Ace prepared, we can swap passengers.”

A small laugh came back at him, “Of course. We’re all really glad your plan worked and they’re very anxious to see Rey.”

“I’m sure.” A glint caught his eye and he looked around for a decent landing spot. Before he could fully descend Rey just had to open her mouth.

“Ben, we need to go to Luke.”

Kylo scoffed and let his tone say everything it needed to about What he thought of her idea. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Ben...”

“Stop calling me that.” He snarled at her, over her shoulder because she was still sitting. In. His. Lap.

“Never. Luke can help us with the emperor and you know it.” Kylo groaned, the last thing he wanted to think about was the emperor. He knew what he needed to do, and there was no way he would be putting Rey in danger to do it. His plan was simple. Drop Rey off with the Resistance. Find the emperor. Run him through with his lightsaber. Done and done. Simple but effective. Kylo loved it. Luke Skywalker, not really loving it.

Flipping the switch on his console to navigate closer to the first order transport ship, he gave her his honest reply, “No I do not know it. I am not…..just no.”

Rey wiggled a bit clearly wanting to look at his face, and Kylo relented because if he didn’t, they’d both have to live with the embarrassment of what she was doing to him. Vividly. In color. Kriff. “You told me to let the past die, how about you bloody well live by your own philosophy. If you think you need to let go of the past, then do it.”

“It was Snoke’s philosophy!” Kylo snapped. He’d been coming to the conclusion that a lot of the shit in his head was Snoke’s influence. Now that he was gone it was painfully apparent. Without the weight on his mind so much was different. 

“And now that he’s dead, what is yours.” She asked gently. More gently than he deserved.

He gave her as honest an answer as he could, “I don’t know Rey, I don’t fucking know.”

“How about we go see Luke and you get a chance to figure it out.” Facing him fully, there wasn’t a lot he could say when she had that look on her face. Did he want to see his uncle? Hell no. Did he want to run his uncle through with his lightsaber? That was debatable. What he really wanted, more than anything, was a quiet room with no one bothering him so he could damn well figure out what it was he thought. That was a luxury he was not going to get.

“Do I really have a say?” He asked with a resigned sigh. He had proven on more than one occasion that giving Rey what she wants is about all he’s good for.

Rey grumbled at him, “Not especially no.”

“Fine.” Ben’s word was clipped. Entirely over this.

“Fine.” Rey said turning back around and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Good.” Ben said landing his ship flawlessly beside Snoke’s stolen transport.

“Fine.” Rey said with another full body huff in his direction. Not pleased with him, but not so displeased she was going to open her mouth and say anything.

“Ugh. Stop squirming, your bony ass is digging into my leg.” Ben snarked.

Rey did not do a good job of suppressing her gasp of outrage, or the warning in her tone, “If you don’t stop complaining, I’m going to give you something to complain about.”

"you tell him Rey!" Came the excited sound of Finn across the speaker. Kylo groaned and switched off the mic, how the hell had he forgotten to do that. Who had actually heard their argument? He needed to get away from these people, they were making him sloppy.

Kylo didn’t chuckle, didn’t flinch, if she even knew how much she was turning him on at the moment she would have moved herself down to the floor safely, like the good girl she was. Instead he had to grit his teeth and bear her squirmy body making him want to rip every bit of clothing from both of their bodies and lose himself in every possible way. Releasing the ships overhead hatch Rey jumped out like something was on fire, Kylo took a minute to get himself in order before he too exited his ship.

***


	4. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets angry, Kylo is very long suffering, and the resistance is a mess.

Rey jogged over to Snoke’s transport and threw her arms around Finn, then easily transferred that hug to Rose. Ben was still in his ship, probably sulking but she didn’t care. A slight twinge in her side had her pulling back from her two friends, but she was just beyond excited that they’d made it out okay; that the resistance hadn’t been completely annihilated. Running her hand over her aching side, she guessed the adrenaline was fading and she was finally able to feel just how much it hurt. Rose gave her a concerned look, just as Ace rolled out of the transport beeping about his master. Rey smiled at the scrappy little droid which caused Finn to pull on her arm to get her attention back on him.

“Ready to explain everything Rey, cause I’ve got to admit I’m a little confused.” Finn questioned her with a slight frown on his face. Several yards away where the resistance shuttles had landed, the remaining members were starting to emerge, and looking at Ben’s ship with clear apprehension. Rey could feel their uneasiness even where she stood. It eased almost immediately though, and she turned to look behind her. Ben had finally pulled himself up, and she guessed since the crowd didn’t see someone dressed in black they were a little less cautious. His brown jacket was multipurpose, and it looked like his mask hadn’t been useless after all.

A small group had broken away from the larger crowd, and she realized Poe was leading the pack headed their way, Leia following at a more sedate pace. Rey didn’t recognize half of them, not that she’d been with the resistance long, but their roster changed so much so frequently it was hard to keep up with all of the new faces.

“I’ll explain everything when the others are closer. I’d rather not have to repeat myself.”

Finn’s face didn’t change, but he shrugged his acceptance. He still felt suspicious, and not at all accepting of the situation, but he was willing to give her the space to explain herself.

Rey took in the landscape they found themselves in and had to take a deep breath in appreciation. It wasn’t a lush jungle planet, but it certainly wasn’t Jakku either. They were currently on a rocky slope, but were surrounded on all sides by beautiful grassy plains. A nice breeze ruffled her hair, and she made a mental note that she should put it up again. Poe made it to her before Ben did, but she saw the minute he recognized Ben for Kylo Ren. How she wasn’t sure, Ben’s face was not plastered all over the holonet, so Poe had to have seen him somewhere before. The blaster came out and his face turned steely.

It was like her body went into auto-pilot mode. In less than a blink of her eye she had force commanded Ben’s saber into her left hand, pulled her saber into her right hand, ignited them and thrown herself between Poe and Ben. She twirled the blades and crossed them, their vibrations sparking off of one another. 

Poe’s blaster was raised, and it wasn’t on stun.“REY! Get out of my way.” Poe yelled at her.

She shook her head and twirled the red and blue sabers in her hand, “Poe, you so much as twitch that blaster in his direction and I’ll make sure you never fly again.” The force bled into her tone and the power of it vibrated the rocks around their feet. Rey could feel the astonishment of everyone around her. She could feel the dark pulse of Ben at her back rushing closer, and the light of Leia before her gently moving. “Back off.” That command note in her voice was back. Poe wasn’t budging though.

“You can’t be serious. He’s Kylo freaking Ren, Rey. He must be controlling you or something, we have to kill him.” Poe was adamant. She saw the minute his finger twitched on the blaster, and saw red. She’d been angry before, on many occasions, but this was something new. The pit of her stomach was weighed down with the power of the force, a twinge in her side made her wince, but she didn’t hesitate to swing the sabers in her hands toward Poe. Finn was screaming in the background, but that didn’t stop her. Poe easily dodged back out of range but kept his blaster up and steady. Her right foot shifted forward to align her balance, as she deflected Poe’s first shot. 

The shot hit the ground and she shouted furiously at her friend, “No one, and I mean no one is going to kill him. If you keep trying, I’ll.” Ben had finally reached her and cut her off with an arm around her waist. Leia was coming up behind Poe and Rey was beginning to feel a little nauseous.

“Rey, take a deep breath for me.” Ben’s words hit her ear and she shivered. His arm felt heavy around her, and it was currently brushing against her wound causing it to burn.

“What, let go of me Ben. I won’t have them shooting at you.” Glowering at Poe and everyone around her, she continued to hold the ignited sabers in front of them.

“While I appreciate the….defense….I need you to stop.” Ben said carefully. She wilted a little at his words. “Let go of the sabers Rey.” Ben’s words never rose above a whisper, but everyone was close enough to hear him. She didn’t see them all looking at each other with clear bewildered apprehension though. No one really understood what was going on. Only that the almost Jedi girl had kind of lost her mind and was currently defending a First Order monster. Poe’s declaration of his identity had carried on the wind.

“They shot at you. What if they do it again?” Her brow scrunched up, and she didn’t notice Ben looking at his mother, didn’t notice him shaking his head or holding up a staying hand.

“No one is going to shoot at me. I really need you to sit down.” He sounded worried. His voice dipped down into quiet whispering when he was worried. Rey turned off the sabers and passed them to his free hand. Before them the arrayment of Resistance members were looking at them like they were either monsters to be terrified of or specimens in a lab. It was beyond bizarre that the Jedi lady was handing weapons to the First Order soldier, the lap dog of Snoke. And where was his helmet?

“Ben I don’t feel very good.” She said, realizing that her stomach was on fire and her hands were shaking, sweat was beading up on her body sending chills all through her, despite the warm temperatures.

“I can feel that sweetheart. Can you sit down for me? I think I need to take a look at your stomach.” She dropped easily to her knees and rolled over to sit down fully and look at her stomach where her robes were still very much crusted with her blood. “Shit” she heard Ben curse, when he began to jerk off his jacket frantically.

“Why is he taking his clothes off again, Rey!!” She heard Finn shout and almost laughed, but Ben frantically removing his jacket was kind of a concern, he didn’t really do frantic. Angry, check; Shouting, check; Stomping, check; frantic removal of clothing, not so much. Rey’s vision began to blur, but almost immediately Ben’s face filled up her line of sight. 

“Rey, I’m going to try something, but I need you to stay as still as you possibly can.” Rey was fighting off the burn of tears and barely felt Ben reach down into her boot and pull her knife out. She certainly didn’t see Ben motion to Finn. “Can you hold her shoulders?” Finn must have agreed because she felt his hands on her arms, and Ben cutting away her wraps around her wound. Gasps came from above her, but she was swimming in something. Sludge. Weight. Darkness.

“What’s wrong with me?” she slurred.

*****

Kylo had been ordering people around for the better part of his life, well before he’d taken the name Kylo Ren. Generally speaking people didn’t argue with him in return, be it his size, the tone of his voice, or the power he wore like an actual mantle; for the most part they jumped when he snapped his fingers. But he knew that ordering around the resistance would not result in the same outcome, so he did his best not to scream at them. Rey’s life hung in the balance.

“Ben?” his mother asked softly. 

He wanted to groan, but kept his eyes on Rey’s wound. He’d taken his jacket off for a reason. The knife had slipped through her wraps like butter, so he knew it would have no trouble doing what needed to happen next. “There’s a parasite inside of her.” He said in a clipped no nonsense voice.

“Then we need to have a med unit take a look at her.” Leia said forcefully.

Kylo shook his head, “not that kind of parasite.” Before anyone else could distract him, he flipped the knife in his hand, pulled down his shirt by the collar and cut a line over his heart. Not too deep, he just needed enough to tempt the thing inside of her, and blood pulled from near his heart was bound to tempt anything that fed on darkness. Dropping the knife on the ground and wiping the blood up with his finger, he dripped it on her skin near the edge of the wound. 

“That is so unsanitary.” Finn said in a long drawn out groan of disgust. Kylo sneered at him, his weakness had Kylo wanting to shove him away from Rey, but he needed the extra set of hands. 

Rey began to move restlessly. “I said hold her still.” He said it harshly because worry was a vulnerability he wasn’t going to allow these people to see. Finn grunted but shifted his weight so he was bracing her. Kylo didn’t dare close his eyes, but he did call the force to him. Feeling around inside of her it was obvious to him she had something clinging to her, he just needed to tempt it away. On a good day Kylo’s darkness outstripped Rey’s, his blood should be enough of a call to the thing inside of her; and if not, Kylo was ready to tear it out of her if he had to.

It began to inch toward the surface, and Rey took that moment to open her eyes with horror. Finally understanding what Kylo had started to feel when she’d grabbed for his saber. “Get it out, get it out, get it out!!!” She screamed over and over.

“Rey, easy please. I’m getting it out, but you have to stay still.” 

Tears coursed down her cheeks, and she looked at him pleadingly. Leia was above them shouting orders to anyone and everyone around her, but Kylo could only see Rey. “Ben, please.”

“Just a little longer okay, I know it hurts, but if I jerk it out it will tear your insides up.” He was dragging the thing now with the force, doing his best to mitigate her tissue damage. It felt like an insect of some kind. Nothing he’d ever seen or felt before, but small and round with a hard shell husk. He knew immediately where she’d picked it up and he wanted to rage at her idiocy for invading his connection to the Sith lord.

Even as he’d given into her earlier about going to see Skywalker, he was still calculating how exactly he was going to get out of it. That all went down the drain as he carefully extracted the Sith parasite. A small inky blackness gushed out of her wound along with the little beetle like thing. Ace had made his way over at some point, and before Kylo could even ask he held out a specimen jar. Kylo dropped it in and turned back to Rey.

There was no way in hell he could heal her, she didn’t have enough training to heal herself, their only viable option was Skywalker. The dark substance in her wound could be anything, and he had no clue what the parasite was capable of, Luke was the best resource available. Kriffing hell. Kylo mopped up her blood with a piece of her robe that he cut off, and pushed his power into her stomach to numb the pain. Sweat dripped into her eyes but she looked relieved. “Is it out?”

“Yeah it’s out, but that doesn’t mean it’s over.” He said warningly.

“How bad do you think it is?” 

“With everything that’s happened, probably pretty bad.”

“We need to go see Luke.” She said firmly.

He sighed. “Yeah.” Honestly he didn’t know what the hell was going on, but he had a bad feeling about the specimen, the emperor, and the looks on the faces of the resistance staring at all of them. Poe had been pulled away by Finn, and Kylo couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Rose had joined them and was clearly calming the pilot down. The man had put his blaster away, but he still glared at Kylo like he wanted to set him on fire. 

“Now that things seem to be settling down, care to explain what you’re doing here?” His mother’s tone was aloof, her force signature a wall of ice, and the look in her eyes would cut lesser men in half. Kylo clenched his ungloved hands into fists at his side and once again repressed his desire to lash out and rage at the cluster fuck that had become his life. Rey’s well being took precedence over any look his mother could give him. Lifting Rey up from the ground without a word, he headed towards Snoke’s transport.

Rey of course couldn’t express appreciation if her life depended on it. “Ben, enough. Put me down, I’m getting a little tired of you just carting me around everywhere. I have legs. I can walk.” Ben could feel the trembling in her body, he could feel her exhaustion, he could also feel the uncertainty in her words. 

“I’m not entirely sure the sith parasite didn’t leave something behind. Snoke has a medical bay in his transport. While it’s looking you over, you can tell the General about all the stupid shit you’ve done in the past 6 hours.” Leia was following along behind them at a sedate pace, the rest of the remaining resistance leaders flanking her with frowns of worry and consternation on their faces. One didn’t speak to a Jedi, almost Jedi, with either that tone or those words. It was beastly and downright rude.

Rey’s whole body went tense and her voice echoed in the med chamber as she yelled at him. Finn and Poe wincing at every screech of her tone.“Everything I’ve done. I”VE DONE. You basically walked out of the First Order with NOTHING but your stupid tiny ship, and some ridiculous costume you kept in your closet. How is what I’ve done any more idiotic than what you’ve done?” She slapped the back of his shoulder as she wound down, and he laid her out on the little bed so the droid could reach her for the scan.

“I had a plan. Several plans. With backup plans of my plans. You just prance around and DO things, without fully realizing the consequences. Like sliding into my meditation with a Sith lord and hoping for the best.” Running his free hand through his hair, his frustration with her and their situation made everyone around them flinch. Many of them had seen an angry Kylo Ren, and were not looking for repeat performances. Not Rey though, she just continued to glower at him. None of them noticed the gentle way he positioned her so the droid could get what it needed, they didn’t see how carefully he ran his fingers over the shredded remains of her wraps, and it didn’t occur to any of them that the reason he stood where he did was to protect her from their invading stares. 

“I didn’t know you were meditating with a Sith Lord? How would I have even known that?  _ You  _ didn’t know you were meditating with a Sith lord when he basically hijacked your mind!!!!” Her voice didn’t screech so much a pierce through him with her anger, frustration, and lingering pain. He didn’t wince, didn’t even acknowledge her words, just looked around the shuttle taking in the ones that had followed them. Her little group. Rose wasn’t paying them any attention she was still poking around at Ace, Finn looked smug, Poe looked furious still, and Leia was watching both of them curiously. Kylo really wanted out of this place and away from these people. The med droid beeped and Kylo looked over the readouts concerned with the results. 

The substance the creature had left behind was bothering him. Something was niggling at him, something he should remember but couldn’t quite put a finger on. “You didn’t bother to wait it out and see. I would have been fine.”

“Well obviously now we’ll never know. Do you think he knows about me?”

“If he didn’t he sure as hell did when you came after me.”

“Are you two quite finished?” Leia asked.

Kylo and Rey both looked over at her like they’d been caught stealing cookies. It was so easy to let the rest of the world fade when he was in Rey’s presence. They nodded like the scolded school children they were. 

“Excellent, we’ll start small. Ben am I to assume you’ve defected from the first order?” She folded her hands in her lap presenting the perfect image of a stately senator.

“Kylo, my name is Kylo and yes, it would appear my tenure with the First Order is no more.” Slipping into diplomatic speech patterns he turned fully to face the General, spread his legs planting them firmly, and placed his hands behind his back. It was a power stance, parade rest for a soldier, he’d been taught how to conduct himself at a young age, it was almost second nature to match her stately disposition with one of his own. Everyone around them straightened up with the tension rolling between the two of them.

Leia cocked her head to the side, “And it would also appear that Snoke has been eliminated.” She didn’t ask it as a question, but it was important to have things confirmed, for clarity's sake. 

“That is correct.” Rey looked between the two of them like they were both crazy. She didn’t say anything, but it was apparent she thought they were behaving strangely. 

“And from your conversation with Rey, I understand that there is a Sith Lord we need to be worried about.” Rey didn’t shift in her seat, but Kylo could tell she wanted to. 

“Correct.”

“I see.” Leia looked at Rey with the slightest twinge of concern, but covered it quickly.

“And what precisely are your intentions…..Kylo Ren?”

Rey didn’t bother getting down gracefully from the perch he’d placed her on, no she jumped down like a spitting mad wildcat and stomped towards his mother. Her tone had dropped to a register that he’d previously only heard her use on him, “DO not tell me you are suggesting that he might apprentice himself to another dark lord.”

Kylo winced. Leia lifted her head, almost in challenge to Rey. “It is not an illogical line of thought Rey. He’s done it before.”

“Oh and just because everyone’s done something once, that means they’ll always do the same thing. One time is not a pattern.” Rey was standing in front of him again, her hands on her hips, staring his mother down. It was a revelation to him. Three times in one day, well more than three times if you considered their fight with Snoke, this was definitely a pattern. Rey had thrown herself between him and something that was trying to hurt him, even when he clearly didn’t need the assistance. Kylo was in awe. She was light, power, and strength; and instead of treating him like the failure everyone around him considered him to be, she planted her feet in front of him like some kind of avenging guardian. It was almost nonsensical. 

General Leia Organa of course did not back down. He’d never seen his mother back down from anything, Rey was not going to be the exception.“Rey my concern is for the people here, I must take their well being into consideration. If there is a chance that a powerful Sith lord…”

Rey cut her off. “You know I didn’t understand before, but I think I’m beginning to.” Turning her back on the general she snapped, “we’re leaving.” Before he could respond she stomped out of the shuttle once again leaving everyone around them in shock. The resistance had neither the numbers or the infrastructure to hold him. Even if he was a wanted criminal, a murderer that should be locked away for the safety of the galaxy, there really wasn’t anything that they could do. He could see how it pained them to let him go.

Kylo brought his hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed it trying to release the tension that had begun to build. “Ace, decode the shuttle for them. Give them access to anything they need regarding first order tech, movement, and base locations.” He looked over at his mother, easily slipping back into the controlled mask he’d worn for the past fifteen years. “The longer you can keep them away from her, the safer she’ll be.” His clipped words had the effect he’d wanted, causing everyone around them to move. He didn’t wait for whatever it was they decided, just followed Rey out into the sun.

*****

“Like hell! Rey, I am not leaving my ship on this backwater, nowhere planet for someone to strip it for parts. I can fly the damn silencer alongside this stupid hunk of junk, but I am not going anywhere on this rust bucket.” Rey’s face got that stubborn look and he groaned. He’d boarded the Millenium Falcon to make sure it didn’t have any First Order tech tracking on it, when Rey had casually asked him if he wanted to be the one to fly to Skywalker. Now they were both standing facing one another with their hands on their hips, voices echoing off the walls of the Falcon. 

“What if I get sick, what if this thing,” she forcefully points at her stomach, “comes back and tries to eat my insides. It’s just sense for us to be close, and I can’t fit in your stupid tiny ship.”

Kylo stepped closer to her, his height towering over her. “My ship is perfectly normal sized woman, and It’s not like I’ll be hours away, if something happens I’ll be right there, but I am not flying in this lousy excuse for a ship.”

Rey rolled her eyes. “You’ll be a target for everyone in the galaxy in your ship, at least on this bucket of bolts, the only people shooting at you will be the First Order.”

Kylo rolled his eyes right back at her, “and every crime lord my father ever scammed. Thank you but no thank you.”

A gasp behind them had both of them snapping their heated gazes to whomever dared to interrupt them. Rey relaxed. Kylo did not. Poe was standing in the door. Finn was at his shoulder and they both sort of stumbled into the room. Rose slipped between them, and at her entrance Kylo relaxed a little bit. Rey side eyed him but he chose to ignore the question in her eyes.

“We’re going with you!” Finn all but shouted his excitement while giving Kylo the dirtiest look he could muster. Kylo had seen more intimidating Ewok’s. He crossed his arms and stared the man down. He could practically see Finn quake in his boots which very nearly brought a full on smirk to Kylo’s face. 

“No, what? No. Finn the Resistance needs you, it doesn’t need you galavanting off chasing after Master Skywalker. We’re going for information, there’s no need for us to take a large group.”

Poe spoke up before Finn could continue. “Ordinarily, I’d agree with you. The trip there isn’t why Leia is sending us with you. She wants us to chase down Maz with Chewie while you’re talking to Skywalker, and start gathering resistance resources.” Kylo could tell the pilot was still incredibly suspicious of him, but there was also a slight twitch in his reaction to Rey. Something about the way his body turned away from her, made Kylo realize the man didn’t trust her any longer. Interesting.

Walking away from Rey and her friends he headed for his ship. “Ben.” He was going to ignore her, definitely. There was absolutely no reason for him to be on this ship. No reason whatsoever. “What if he gets in my head?” It was a quiet plaintive statement. She wasn’t begging, there was no manipulation in her voice, just a sort of lost contemplation. Kylo sighed.

“You really need to stop calling me that.” Running a hand through his hair he sighed. “Fine.” He pulled his security token from his pocket and tossed it to Rose. She caught it with a look of surprise and questioning? He didn’t grin but a small smile did gentle his expression, much to the confusion of the rebels. “My ship is not staying here, and you’re the only one with any sense. Ace will help you with any of the controls.”

Rey giggled at the look of consternation on Poe’s face. “I’m an actual pilot. I should be the one....”

“You’re not touching my ship.” Kylo had 0 issue shutting Poe down. 

Rose looked between the men, looked back at Rey and full on laughed as she exited the ship in search of Ace.

Kylo followed Rey back to the cockpit and sat down with a huff. He wasn’t sulking no matter what her look said. Within the hour they’d be off this planet and heading toward a part of his past that he wanted to crush out of existence, sue him if he was a little grumpy.


	5. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Melinium Falcon, a little lesson, and some force ghosts. Will this day ever end?

Rey looked over at Ben sitting beside her and frowned at his continuous glower. He’d been completely silent since they’d left the little planet and the resistance forces behind. Rose was keeping pace with them outside the view port, Finn and Poe were strapped into seats behind them, and Chewie was sitting with his arms crossed just as grumpy as Ben. All in all, she’d had better experiences when setting off into the galaxy.

Ben looked over at her, and Rey made sure her eyes caught his. Staring at one another she felt the gentle brush of the force, and once again became entirely agitated by how Leia had behaved on that planet. Could she not see Ben for what he was? How could she not understand? Luke had been much the same way, trying to convince her not to go to Ben. Telling her she wouldn’t like how it ended. Well here she was sitting beside him, and that was a great deal more than the Skywalker’s had ever been able to manage. What was it that made them so blind to the core of him. 

He wasn’t a gentle man, he was hard, he was harsh, he was intimidating as hell, and he had more rage in his pinky finger than Rey had in her whole body; but, he wielded the force like a painter. It was bold and sure, even when he was doing wretched things with it, his power felt delicate like silk against her skin. He wasn’t the battering ram that Snoke had tried to make him, as much as he tried to give off the impression. Ben was at his best when he was careful.

“So are you just going to keep staring at each other?” Poe’s sarcasm didn’t startle her, nor did it make her turn to look at him. She didn’t have to look to see his eyebrows flatten or his stubble covered cheeks reveal how hard he was clenching his teeth. 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Rey continued to press buttons on the panels in front of her, occasionally pausing for Ben to do what he needed to do. They were just about ready to jump to hyperspace. Ben flicked a finger in her direction to remind her to engage the fuel reserves.

Rey rolled her eyes. “Ready Ben?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Rey ignored his gloomy tone and peered around him to where Rose was waving from the Silencer.

“Rose, are you good, we’re about to jump.”

“Yup, I’m great.” Her cheery voice over the com made Ben’s face relax just a bit and Rey wanted to question him. What was it about Rose that made him go all squishy? She’d seen it on numerous occasions now, and he let her fly his ship….an untrained, untested engineer was currently flying his baby. Rey could very well imagine what his response would be if she were to ask to fly the damn thing. A flat hard line “no” would have been the response, but he tossed access to Rose like she was his long lost sister. She hadn’t even asked. 

Rey didn’t gasp, but it was a near thing. Was Rose related to Ben? Surely not. But why then did he have such a soft spot for her?

She pressed the lever forward that sent them into hyperspace, and let out a sigh. “Alright everyone we have a few hours. I suggest getting some sleep, we’re going to need it.”

They all stood up from their seats, except for Chewie. He motioned to the pilot’s chair and indicated he’d be staying behind. Rey patted him on his shoulder and watched the way he and Ben skirted around one another warily. The wookie hadn’t had anything to say to Ben, but he also hadn’t protested Ben’s presence, so she was just patiently keeping an eye on the both of them. 

Poe and Finn lead the way to the crew quarters, but instead of going right with them, Ben took a left when they headed out of the access corridor. “Ben?” 

“You have actually been in the crew quarters right?” She continued to look at him quizzically. He rolled his eyes, “I haven’t been able to sleep in one of those beds since I was 12.” He kept going without another word. Rey frowned. She’d wanted to talk to him. 

“Wait a second, I’ll come with you.” Following him the other way it didn’t actually surprise her that Finn and Poe rerouted and followed like she wasn’t allowed to be alone with Ben. Ben didn’t wait for her and when she walked through the door of the main hold he was already sprawled on the curved couch. “Ben” she said on a whine. He didn’t remove the arm he’d thrown over his eyes, didn’t acknowledge her at all. “What are we going to do about Darth Sidious?” He heaved a sigh but still didn’t move. Rey wasn’t about to be deterred, and just sat on the table in front of the couch. She poked his arm. Finn and Poe were standing behind her, she could feel the uneasy energy they were both exuding.

“Rey, I would like to sleep, we can talk about the Sith lord later.” Ben’s words were muffled through his arm.

“You don’t seem to be that worried.” Rey said accusingly.

“I can’t imagine why the dark force lord isn’t worried about the sith lord, Rey, no really.” Acknowledging Poe would only make him worse, so Rey pointedly didn’t turn around.

Ben finally removed his arm and looked at her, “Didn’t my uncle teach you anything. There is no death, there is the force. He may be a Sith, but they’re traditionally very hard to kill. How is he back? no idea. Is it possible? absolutely. Now will you please go away?”

Rey frowned. “No Luke didn’t teach me that. What is it?”

Ben banged his head on the seat below him. “If I teach you this, will you promise to go away?”

Rey nodded, and even though he couldn’t see her she knew he could feel her.

“No Rey, don’t do it. He’s going to teach you the dark side.” Finn said pleadingly. Rey didn’t laugh at her friend, but it was close. His understanding of the Force was even more novice than her own.

“Oh for the love of... You can look it up in the archives. It’s not a secret. Verify it with Luke when we get to Ahch-To I don’t care.” Ben sat up and leaned back against the couch, Rey on the table in front of him with her legs crossed in a sort of meditative pose. “There are three codes, though the Sith and the Jedi are the most prevalent. No one has used these archaic methods since the eradication of the Jedi council by my Grandfather and Sidious. Luke taught us the history, but he didn’t mandate the tradition. The Jedi Code: There is no emotion, there is Peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the force.” Ben ran a hand through his hair and continued. “The Sith obviously were different. Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The force shall set me free.”

Rey tilted her head to the side. “That doesn’t sound terrible.”

Ben laughed, “No the force is what you make of it. The Sith code isn’t inherently wrong or right, just as the Jedi code isn’t. It’s the people that use it and what they use it for. The force is a living thing that infuses the world around us, and it’s never all one thing or the other. When that unbalance happens, you get corruption on a galaxy wide scale.”

“What right do you have to talk about any of this after what you’ve done. You talk about balance, when you’re half the reason the galaxy is so unbalanced.” Ben didn’t turn to face Finn or his words, just kept his eyes on Rey. A glimmer of something was building inside of her. Something she couldn’t name, but nonetheless it felt enormous. Her skin tingled with need, she wanted to slip off of the table and into Ben’s lap, much like she’d been in the Silencer. The need to feel him close to her was sudden and overwhelming. Ben’s eye twitched and that glimmer manifested into knowledge. Ben wanted her in his lap just as much as she wanted to be there. He felt it too. That revelation was entirely interrupted by Finn grabbing her arm. “Come on Rey, we don’t need to listen to any more of this.”

She shook off Finn. “You said there was a third.”

Ben nodded. “Yeah. There have been numerous factions of Sith and Jedi over the years, but the Grey Jedi were probably the biggest thorn in the side of the Jedi Order at its height. Their code can be simplified to the following: There is no dark side, nor a light side. There is only the Force. I will do what I must to keep the Balance. There is no good without evil, but evil must not be allowed to flourish. There is passion, yet peace. There is serenity, yet emotion. There is chaos, yet order.” Ben shrugged but Rey was floored. A part of her knew that the Jedi order had undergone changes, but to hear that an entirely different branch had built up their own provision made her head spin. 

“So if there are different factions of Jedi, does that mean there are different types?” Rey queried.

Ben nodded. “Of course. Luke seriously didn’t teach you this?” Rey shook her head in denial. Ben looked pensive, but continued his teaching. “There were three branches. Guardians were the light side mirror to sith warriors. Jedi Consular were the peacemakers, diplomatic members of the Jedi who rarely drew their sabers. The third discipline was the Jedi Sentinels. Stealth fighters, they did not batter their way into a fight, but used their skills to either dismantle everyone and everything involved, or avoid it altogether.”

Rey brought her knees up and rested her chin on her fist. “Which discipline do you suppose I would be, if Luke had kept up with the traditions anyway?”

Ben laughed, “You, definitely a guardian. Without a doubt.” A small smile graced his lips and it took everything she had inside of her not to reach out and grab his hand. A part of her had been desperately trying to grab his hand since Luke had interrupted them in the hut. Ben's darkness was all but non existent at the moment, and the power of him was intoxicating her. Despite Poe and Finn standing just behind her, all she wanted was Ben's hands on her. 

“What about you?” a brief flash of pain flicked through his eyes, but was gone in an instant.

“I’m not a Jedi Rey, and I’m never going to be.”

She stopped resisting and reached out to grab his hand. She could feel the heat of just how much Finn did not like that at her back. “But if you were?”

He sighed. “A sentinel. I would have most likely been a sentinel.” Ben stared at her intently, she felt the heat of his gaze and it made her shiver. No one had ever looked at her the way Ben did, it was almost too much, but she didn’t want him to stop.

“Seriously. We’re standing right here?” Poe said dramatically. Ben snapped out of whatever intense thought he’d been having while staring at Rey, and turned to look quizzically at Finn. 

“You know you’re force sensitive don’t you.” Rey’s eyes went round and she spun to face a sputtering Finn, keeping Ben’s hand in her own. “I suspected earlier, but it’s more obvious now.”

“What...what even are you talking about!?!” Finn was shifting on his feet, a little scared and a little in awe. 

“Maybe Luke will train two of you, an heir and a spare so to speak. You can both stay there.” Ben’s words were straight forward, but he was trying to hide behind something,Rey understood their meaning. She understood the intent, and she didn’t even need to be in his head.

“You’re not leaving me there Ben. You’re not confronting Darth Sidious on your own.”

Ben laid back down and covered his face. “You can’t actually stop me Rey, and Luke will agree.”

Rey jumped up from the table, “We are doing this together you jackass.”

He slipped his arm upwards and gave her a glower that had Finn shaking beside her. “Do you have any conceptual understanding of what this world would look like if you fell? If you became a Sith apprentice, you would make me look like a field of fucking flowers Rey. I wanted you with me, I never wanted you corrupted. The Sith are an aberration to the force, and if it infects you we’re all lost. So no, you will not be getting within seeing distance of whatever planet he happens to be on.”

She yelled in her head, but Ben was done. She could tell she would be talking to a brick wall if she continued so she kicked the couch and force pushed him to the floor. Swinging around, she pulled Poe and Finn from the room. A little bit grateful that the massive hulk of a man behind them couldn’t actually fit in the crew quarters. 

Chewie met them at the junction to the cockpit, and told Rey she should take the captains quarters. He had gotten plenty of sleep on the way to pick them up, and wasn’t going to be sleeping anytime soon. Finn and Poe waved her off. Finn still reeling from what Ben had said, and Poe giving her wildly suspicious looks. 

Rey made her way to the captains quarters and opened the door with a weary sigh. It had been a long day, so much had happened, so much she could barely wrap her mind around it. Ben had actually come with her, Snoke was dead, and now they had a new darkness to worry about. She continued to sense the wellspring of darkness within Ben, but it was like little pieces of the real Ben kept shining through, and every time they did she could only marvel at how bright he actually was. He quickly covered it up, in fact she felt the momentary flashes of shame, and it baffled her what was driving him to feel that way. 

“When you’re the heir to the Skywalker dynasty, you will never live up to the galaxy's expectations. No matter how hard you try, everything you do is going to be scrutinized.” Rey gaped. A blue shimmery guy was standing in her room. 

“Anakin Skywalker.” Rey didn’t pass out, but she was sure her exhaustion had finally driven her off the deep end.

****

Piercing blue eyes met his when Ben finally raised his head from the couch. A presence had been quietly flickering on his peripheral for a few minutes, and he’d hoped if he ignored it that it would just go away. His luck had turned to shit all of a sudden because today was getting progressively worse. Ben sat up and crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, I suppose force ghosts are the only way this day could conceivably end.”

The blurry blue figure of a Togruta woman with blue and white montrals didn’t even blink. She wasn’t wearing the traditional robes of a Jedi, more like an old fashioned casual outfit for exercise. What he noticed more than anything was the sheer attitude she projected at him. “Well little Solo, I wouldn’t be here if your mind were at ease.”

He looked around the ship thinking, “No the force is strong on Ahch-To. We must be getting closer. Force manifestations are more frequent on planets with a strong…”

She cut him off, “save the book stuff for your padawans, I stopped needing lessons years ago.”

Ben scoffed. “I’m not teaching anyone.”

“What is it with you Skywalker’s. Not a one of you likes to admit the connection to a padawan.”

Ben let his face show his confusion and the woman smirked. “Anakin was a very stubborn master.”

Of course thought Ben, of course “Ahsoka Tano.”

She flung her arms out and took a bow, “The one and only.” After raising up she sauntered over to the couch and flopped down, throwing her feet up on the table. “So little Solo. Having lady trouble are you?”

“What? No!.” Ben frowned at her. “The problem isn’t Rey, it’s Darth Siddious.”

Ahsoka nodded her head. “Right because you were ordering her around, and she was blatantly not having any of your shit.” Ben sighed, but Ahsoka didn’t stop. “You should probably tell her why you came along, why you dropped the First order with barely a thought, and why you’re still following her around now.”

Ben grumbled, “irrelevant. Knowing won’t change anything. Now are you actually going to be helpful and tell me what you know about Sidious.”

“Your focus is too far ahead of the now little Solo.” 

Ben glowered at her, what was it with people and his name. Was Kylo Ren just that difficult to say? “So I should what, be so consumed with the past I can’t see five feet in front of me? The Jedi’s all consuming need to…”

“Oh hush, that’s not even close to what I said.” The apparition flicked his nose and grinned at him, Ben was a little taken aback. She was so far removed from the serious image of Jedi in his mind, that he was momentarily speechless. This woman, his grandfather’s former padawan, had an infectious personality. “The time for worrying about Sidious will come, but you have a few things you need to get figured out right now. Break apart the problem Solo, and put it back together. The conflict inside of you needs to be settled. You have one of the keenest minds of anyone I’ve ever seen in the Force, put it to use and figure it out. Let the force in, let it be what you know it can be, stop trying to make it something that it’s not. Stop trying to do to it what everyone around you has always tried to do to you.”

Ben felt the burn begin in his eyes, and he had to reach deep inside to steady himself. He rolled his eyes to keep from letting the heat of his emotions escape, “I see you’re a card carrying member of the Jedi council of vague.”

She laughed delighted at his response. “I’m no Jedi Ben Solo, what I am is a part of the Force and you’re not asking the right questions.”

Ben paused in his inner monologue berating the former Jedi Order, what did she mean not asking the right questions? “Why can I see you?”

She grinned. “There’s that quick mind.” Ben stood up abruptly.

“I’m a dark force user, I shouldn’t be able to see Force ghosts. I can see the echoes in places strong with the force, but I’ve never...that’s a purely lightside ability.” He whirled around to look at her, mind running with what this could mean.

“Is it really? Or are they the only ones who talk about it?”

Ben tried to think, he’d never read anything about a Force ghost appearing to someone other than a light sider. In all his years under Snoke and Luke, there was never anything... “There is no known documented history of a dark sider speaking with a force ghost.”

“What do you think that means little Solo?”

Ben frowned at the blue apparition, “Darksiders aren’t cut off from the past lives of the Jedi, that knowledge isn’t entirely removed from them. But how…”

Ahsoka stood up and her image began to waver, flickering in the force, “What does balance mean to you, little Solo?” With that question her image faded and Ben was left with a feeling of peace that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. What did balance mean to him? Why did it matter? Instead of pulling his hair in frustration, he dropped back onto his temporary bed with a grumble, stupid Force nonsense. He’d been trying to smother the light in him for years, he didn’t know what balance was supposed to be much less what it actually meant to him.

He fell into sleep easily, exhaustion finally catching up with him, right before his mind drifted away, he had a sudden revelation. Even he was calling himself Ben, he really needed to get away from these ridiculous people. His mind so far out of it he didn’t feel the brush of the force across his forehead. A gentle blue glow shifting through his hair and soothing the ache between his eyes. 

“May the force be with you little Solo, sweet dreams.” A gentle lively voice whispered in his ear.


	6. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke gets yelled at and the force is handing out visions :)

Rey stepped off the Millennium Falcon and took a deep breath of fresh sea air. The saltiness tickled her nose and she laughed. Ahch-To was an upside world compared to Jakku, and she loved every briney bit of it, even Luke’s grumpy attitude couldn’t put a frown on her face. Ben made his way to her side, a dark imposing presence that buffered the sea winds from jostling her too much. 

“Where is he?” His voice was still a little scratchy from having been asleep, and Rey couldn’t help look at him like the adorable puppy he was. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and pet him, but they had a Jedi to wrangle and no time for such foolishness. Also, she wasn't really sure Ben would welcome her touching him. Not like that at any rate. It was interesting that the minute she stepped foot on the ground, she could feel their bond like it was a tangible string she could hold in her hand. Perhaps it was due to the strength of the force on the island, but a little golden shimmer connected them and she was extremely curious about it. 

Snoke claimed he’d made it, but looking at it now she knew instinctively that had been a lie. This warm golden shimmer between them could not possibly be the result of Snoke. When she’d been on the island before, everything had happened so quickly and she hadn’t really had a chance to examine it. On the Supremacy, darkness had nearly suffocated her so she still hadn’t taken the time. She wondered if Ben was as curious as she was, her chat with Anakin came to mind and she winced, still not sure she believed everything he'd said. The Silencer hatch opened distracting her, and Rey waited for Rose to make her way to them with Ace before she spoke.

“Luke is more than likely over the rise and up at the temple. The caretakers in the cottages are not generally enthusiastic about visitors, so if you guys could stay here, Ben and I will go see Luke. He’ll be coming back with us this time, whether he likes it or not.” Ace rolled over to Ben and sat down with a grumpy little beep behind his master. 

Ben poked the droid in greeting and then crossed his arms, “He’s going to look at that wound on your stomach before we start pushing and prodding him.” Rey huffed at him but didn’t argue just waved her hand in his face. Ben rubbed his eyes, clearly trying to wake himself up and Rey was a little startled when Rose walked over and cooed at him. 

“Your ship is exceptional.” Her bright smile didn’t make Ben back away from her, in fact he gave her a gentle smirk and took his security token from her. Their interactions were so soft that Rey was immediately taken back to that brief few minutes on the Falcon when his grandfather had made an appearance. Why he’d picked her he wouldn’t say, and what he’d told her had been a revelation that she was still trying to reconcile, but that same gentle smirk had been on his face when he looked at her. Ben clearly struggled with the Skywalker legacy, but there was no denying he was part of it.

Both Finn and Poe were looking at Rose like she’d grown another head, but she gave Ace a pat and walked over to the both of them greeting them cheerily. “Are we ready to track down some Rebels to join the resistance?”

Finn and Poe looked at one another a little warily. Rose’s easy acceptance of Ben was clearly making them nervous, so they stepped a little closer to one another. “Yeah we can hang out here and go over some old smuggler routes to see if we can uncover some rebel candidates. Maz might be able to lead us in the right direction as well, so I’ll reach out to her and see what she has.”

Finn groaned, “She hates me.”

Poe laughed and slapped Finn on the shoulder, “Nah, she’ll just whack you the next time she sees you.” 

“Come on guys,” Rose pushed them towards the ship. “Good luck Rey, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.” The trio waved to Rey as they walked back onto the ship. She and Ben were finally standing alone looking up at the Temple high on the island.

“Are you ready for this?”

Ben scowled. “Not even remotely.”

Rey leaned against him, and he looked down at her curiously. “Don’t let him divide us.” Looking out over the horizon, the ocean a calming influence on her, somehow gave her the bravery to put into words something she’d been shying away from since she made her way to Ben. “It’s you and me Ben, no matter what any of them say, no matter what any of them think,” She looked up and poked him so she could see his eyes, “It’s you and me.”

Ben pressed his lips into a flat line and looked up at the temple. She could feel his conflict, she could see the banked fire of his fury, and she had no doubt that if Luke pushed him, Ben would explode. “This place feels…”

Rey nodded, “Yeah, there’s a reason Luke stayed here.” Rey scrunched her brow, “Something is different though, the force feels like…” 

Ben cut her off, “Like it’s waiting.”

She let out a sarcastic huff, “It would be nice if we knew what it was waiting for.” Rey started forward and pulled Ben along behind her, waiting around here wasn’t going to get anything done. 

Ben shifted to follow, “you know, he knows we’re here. He could have met us half way. It’s nice to know he’s still as childish as I remember.” He was grumbling with every step they took towards the temple.

Rey rolled her eyes, “You’re both as childish as the other. You’re clearly related.” She didn’t have to look to feel how offended Ben was by her remarks. Instead of giving him more opportunity to grump at her, she took off at a quicker pace up the stairs. She looked over her shoulder and grinned, “race you?”

Ben narrowed his gaze and nodded sharply. Taking off before she even had a chance to blink, he was 4 steps above her when Rey finally lunged forward. She pushed his feet with the force and jumped in front of him, taking off at a dead run up the steps. A growl at her shoulder made her giggle, tripping him hadn’t even winded him. 

Ben’s stride was longer than hers, but she was fast and agile, they were neck and neck and they both force pushed themselves upward for the last stretch. They lunged together to slap the steps at the top and Rey misjudged her step. Ben somehow felt it and threw an arm around her waist to twist them both so they fell on the ground. A sound came out of Ben that had Rey beaming up into the clouds, her back was to his chest and he was laughing. It was quite literally the most glorious thing she’d ever heard. Grinning she turned her face up to him, “ I win.”

He sat them both up, “that was not a win.”

Rey stood up from his lap and reached out a hand to him, he grasped her palm, “That was definitely a win.” She’d still not put her hair up in her normal 3 bun style, it was hanging around her shoulders with the wind whipping it around her face. Ben was faring no better, his thick black hair obscuring his features. 

“Whatever sweetheart.” Ben brushed his pants off and pulled her further towards the temple. Luke, it seemed, had finally decided to grace them with his presence because he stood a looming robed figure at the entrance to the temple. Rey had a stark memory of meeting him for the first time, and him telling her forcefully to go away. His face had been blank, very little emotion had seeped through into the world around him the entire time she’d been on the island. Until he’d caught her with Ben, she was certain he’d been a calm placid pool of water. 

Looking at him now, she was a little breathless at how wrong she’d been. It was like the Force was showing her all of a sudden exactly what depths existed inside Luke Skywalker, and there was a messy tangled web of light rolling and fighting inside of him. It was the most clarity the Force had ever given her, and just like last time she marched up to the man and stared him down. He was coming back with them, and that was final.

****

* * *

She didn’t even know she was doing it, thought Ben as he watched her shift her body in front of him slightly. His uncle hadn’t changed a whole lot since their time as Master and Padawan. Oh he was older to be sure, but he still had that same indomitable presence in the Force. Ben wasn’t going to ever verbally acknowledge it, but was the slightest bit grateful that Rey was standing in front of him. The world seemed to still around them, and Ben remembered the pilot mouthing off at him. Who speaks first indeed. There was little doubt that Luke would stand there in silence for eternity.

“She’s been exposed to some sort of Sith parasite, it looked like a genetically modified orbalisk. I’ve never seen it before, and it was attached to her in a meditative trance, so it could be some sort of force modified organism meant to appear like an orbalisk.” Ben didn’t see any point in waiting for Luke to acknowledge them. “Can you cleanse the wound?”

Luke peered at them from eyes that Ben refused to meet. He’d spent half his life looking at that face, and he didn’t have to look to know exactly what was in his uncle’s expression. Prodding Rey, he pushed her to get going and follow Luke into the Temple. Luke led her to a bench seat and made her lay down. She pulled her top up without prompting and Luke laid a hand over her. Ben was a little surprised he could see the manifestation of Luke’s force abilities probing Rey’s closed wound. The force wasn’t usually so tangible.

Luke pulled small specks of darkness from her and with a snap, his connection to the force ebbed and he turned to look at Ben. “You could have easily managed this as a 10 year old. Had you not fallen you could have….”

“Yeah well Rey could have done it herself if you’d bothered to spend more than five minutes teaching her. If you’d put forth any effort she could have healed....”

“Boys!” Rey’s voice echoed in the chamber. “Enough.” She jerked her shirt down and pointed at both of them. “I didn’t bring him all this way so you could shout at him for his mistakes, frankly we don't have time for it. But I understand that your past is causing conflict, so you’ll both sit yourselves down on this cave floor and meditate until it’s not a problem. Maybe if you understand why he did what he did Luke, it will help reconcile our futures.”

Luke opened his mouth. Rey was having none of it. “So help me master Luke, I will haul your sister to this remote island and let her drag you around by your ears if you don’t make an effort.” She pointed to the floor, “Now sit.”

Ben sat down in the temple eyeing Rey beside him. He was doing this at her behest, though he didn’t think it was going to accomplish much. Understanding how he felt as a kid wouldn’t change the present, it wasn’t getting them any closer to the emperor or freeing the galaxy from his grasp. But if Rey thought it would help, he'd plant his ass on the cold stone floor. Begrudgingly.

“Darkness appeared in Ben during his infancy. His mother could feel it in her womb.” Luke said placidly, not arguing but not falling in line. 

Rey pursed her lips, “But when did Snoke start talking to you Ben?”

Ben shrugged, he didn’t see the relevance.

“It was his destiny. The force pushed...”

And for whatever reason at that moment Ben wanted to smash a fist into his uncle’s face. Interrupting him wasn’t even close to satisfying. “It wasn’t inevitable. I was watched every moment of my life, by you or by Snoke, there was always someone in my head watching me. I was a specimen in a lab, always under a microscope. It wasn’t inevitable, it was orchestrated.” He spat the last word, his fury making him tremble. Rey put a hand on his knee and he closed his eyes. 

Luke was agitated, Ben could tell. He kept moving his hands and folding and refolding them. “That’s not true Ben, Snoke has warped your mind.” Luke said placatingly.

Ben groaned. “What was the name of my childhood friend?”

Luke frowned thinking deeply, “You were quite close with….”

“No I wasn’t Luke. I didn’t have a childhood friend because I was raised by droids, when you began teaching me you were terrified by whatever was inside of me to a degree that I wasn’t allowed to get too close to the other students because it might make me emotionally unstable. There wasn’t a moment of my life when I wasn’t being observed by something like a lab rat.”

Luke stood up from his seated meditative position, “That’s no excuse for devoting yourself to the darkness. It doesn’t explain why you abandoned the light.”

Ben growled in frustration. “You want to know why I went to Snoke?” Ben didn’t stand, didn’t raise his voice, but a purposeful look came over his face. “Fine. I lived every day of my life with the Force, I never awoke to it so much as I always had it, pulsing around me. I was 12 when I realized that wasn’t normal, and it was because the other padawans you took on made sure I understood how much of a freak I was.” Rey shifted in her seated position, but Ben waved her off. She wanted this all to come out, and if he didn’t get it out he probably never would. She was probably manipulating the force to keep him calm, but he wasn’t about to check to confirm. 

“I spent every day of my life trying to live up to someone's expectations of me. Mom, Dad, You, the entire galaxy. I was the son of this heroic legacy, and I had a name that the galaxy recognized. I couldn’t hide from the Force, from the public, from anyone. I went to Snoke because it didn’t matter what I did, how hard I tried, everything I was and everything I did somehow fell below expectations, or it confirmed your worst fears. I was too serious for dad, I was too impulsive for mom, and I couldn’t detach myself emotionally enough for you. The closer I came to failing the expectations of those around me the further you all pushed me away.” Ben stood up from the floor and felt his connection to Rey tremble. 

“The darkness didn’t seduce me Luke, it didn’t have to. All it had to offer me was the opportunity to fit somewhere, because I damn sure didn’t fit with any of you.” 

Ben could feel the force surrounding him in the cave. He wasn’t shouting, hell he wasn’t even angry any longer, he didn’t have the energy. He wanted to laugh a little at the absurdity of this situation. He’d gone into explosive rages over less than this, but Rey’s presence and their bond kept him balanced. The irony was comical. “Snoke flat out told me I had too much of my father’s heart. The embodiment of the darkside could see inside my soul, what the lot of you never could. How does that make you feel?” Ben honestly didn’t care any longer. Turning away from Luke he walked calmly from the cave. The Force bracketing his movement and gently carrying him into the open air beyond the cave. 

****

* * *

Rey took a deep breath to calm her anger. “You preach about balance, and the path of light.” Calm washes over her as she reaches for Ben. “He’s not really that complicated Luke. A little bit would have gone a long way with him, and Snoke wasn’t wrong. Ben is every inch his father. Maybe instead of trying to be a gatekeeper of the galaxy, you could try being his family.” She stood and walked out of the cave in search of Ben. Wanting to be sure the emotional state she felt through the bond was accurate. 

Luke followed her out and they could both see Ben at the bottom of the steps. She jogged down to meet him and they were both taken by surprise when something in the sky erupted in a shower of sparks. Luke was making his way down the stairs, at a much slower pace than Rey, so he was maybe 15 feet away from them when their bond stretched as tight as she’d ever felt it. 

Rey frowned in concentration and Ben stared at her a little frightened. Rey didn’t know what was going on, but she could feel the power of the force like a geyser ready to blow. “Ben?” He jerked forward and grabbed her hand. The sky had turned dark and the sparks from above were falling like twinkling stars. “What’s going on?”

“I have no idea.” She looked around and it was like she was looking at the world through a vision. Not like the vision she’d had when she touched Ben’s hand before, but a vision of a vision. All around them stood people in robes. Ben gasped.

“It’s the past. We’re looking at what happened on the island in the past.” Ben took a step away from her but was shoved back by a barrier. “Apparently we’re not allowed to wander.” He poked the barrier, and Rey looked around in wonder. The vision was becoming clearer every second, and Luke was fading. 

“Can Luke see it?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What is this, I mean do you know who the people are?” They were wearing robes very similar to what Luke wore. Each of them had a hood pulled up so she couldn’t see any faces, but they were most definitely not all human. Some were too tall, some too wide, and some had hands and feet that belonged to species she’d never seen in real life.

“They’re Jedi, perhaps even the original. There are maybe 150 or so here. And realistically the crowd may have a collection of Jedi and non Jedi.” She could tell Ben was itching to move out of their little barrier bubble and examine more of the force projected vision. His inquisitive mind was so obvious it almost made her giggle. She could easily imagine him stuck in a university hall somewhere with his head in 1000 year old records humming to himself. He'd offered to be her teacher, and she'd turned him down, but it was like a natural inclination for him to both study the things around him and share his observations. Ben absently reached out a hand to her shoulder and turned her so her back was to his front. He pointed out one of the Jedi who had a hood partially pulled back revealing their face. It was a woman, a woman with three buns in her hair. She didn't look anything like Rey, but it still made her gasp. Ben continued looking around, but he didn't remove his arm from her waist, and Rey placed her hand over his a little hesitantly. Ben didn't make a sound, just pulled her hand around his and linked their fingers together. Kriff his hand was huge around hers, and warm, and Rey blinked into the distance as a warmth settled all around her. 

Rey was about to ask why the force was showing them this moment to distract herself from her confusing feelings for Ben, but before she could speak a white light blazed at the top of the stairs to the temple. It had taken it awhile to manifest fully, but once it did she could make out the silhouettes of two people. One tall, one short, but what caught her attention and made her gape like a fish was the golden light that shimmered between the two of them. With a flashing light she saw that golden light rush out of them and connect each and every person in the crowd like a net weaving between them. After the net of golden light covered the crowd, an immense white light exploded from the temple like a huge mushroom cloud, a slower darker strand wound around the light from the bottom. Carefully it contained the white light, turning it into a beam swirling up into the night sky, focusing it and guiding it upwards. 

The vision cut off and both Rey and Ben fell to the ground. Luke had rushed to their sides, but they were both panting for breath. Rey was speechless but Ben was babbling about connections and power. The night sky was full of twinkling lights and it was in that moment Rey finally understood, “Anakin was right, the force bound us for a reason.”

Both of the Skywalkers whirled around to stare at her in alarm, both of them exclaiming, “what!” in loud fearful voices. They looked at one another. 

Ben asked carefully, “When did you talk to Anakin?”

“On the Falcon before I went to sleep. He told me some stuff, I wasn’t sure if it was true, but I can see now exactly what he meant. Well kind of.”


End file.
